The truth according to a great comedian

Julius Henry Marx, professionally known as Groucho Marx was an American comedian, film and television star. A pioneer of quick wit so legendary, that he is still considered by many to be one of the greatest comedian of the modern era. His rapid-fire, often impromptu delivery of innuendo-laden patter earned him many admirers and imitators.

An innuendo is a hint, insinuation or intimation about a person or thing, especially of a denigrating or a derogatory nature.

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He was known for having his own, original, highly individual, interpretations about many of the popular superstitions that still exist to this day, both inside and outside show business.

Here are some of them:

  • When a person’s nose itches, it’s a sign that is should be scratched.
  • A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
  • Thirteen at a table is unlucky when the hostess has only twelve chops.
  • Shaking hands across the table means that two parties are lazy
  • Dinging before breakfast is a forewarning of a fight with a neighbor-it the neighbor is trying to sleep late.
  • Throwing salt over the shoulder is likely to give the impression hat the man who throws the salt has dandruff.
  • Recognizing the number 13 is a sign that you have been to school.
  • Finding a four-leaf clover is a sign that you have been down on your hands and knees.
  • To get out of bed on the wrong side probably means that you have had too much the night before.
  • To carry a rabbit’s foot is a  sign that you are a good shot with a gun-or have a friend who is.
  • When three men get a light off one match it is indicative of the fact that they have only one match or are Scotsmen.

To add, here are some more of his witty takes on various issues in life:

  • Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
  • I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
  •  I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
  • Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
  • From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
  • I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.

  • Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

  • I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
  • Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

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His distinctive appearance, carried over from his days in vaudeville, included quirks such as an exaggerated stooped posture, glasses, cigar, and a thick greasepaint mustache and eyebrows. These exaggerated features resulted in the creation of one of the world’s most ubiquitous and recognizable novelty disguises, known as Groucho glasses: a one-piece mask consisting of horn-rimmed glasses, large plastic nose, bushy eyebrows and mustache.

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